2001-11-20 | 11:59 p.m. | *ding ding* ROUND 4!
	::sigh:: another fabulous evening with the sexgod. we had three, count them...3 rounds. well, two and a half since we didn't get down to business in time during round two. i couldn't keep his "interest" long enough. boy do i feel like an unattractive loser. but it was aaaaalllllllll good. we shagged, we talked, we were close, and when it was all over i felt normal again. do i have to call him? no. do i have to care about him? no. do i have any obligations to him? no. does it matter if it was any good? no, but i do want him to feel like it's worth his while. i would feel really bad if he made all the effort to come out here and indulge me and then he doesn't like it a little. at the end of the day does it really mean anything? no. it's all good. we're just here doin' our thing, and we're indulging in activities that take a good amount of trust and/or comfort. we know where we've been. we know each other's histories. we're familiar. we know each other's bounds. it makes it so much better. what makes things mind-blowingly awesome is that he has many features that i find sexually attractive, so every time i see him all post-coital and sweaty i can't fucking believe that i, the lowly, fat, ugly, ignorant miss mari actually had sex with one of the most beautiful men on the face of this planet. i cannot believe that he would actually think of sharing this experience with me. in short, i feel totally unworthy. on the other hand... a vixen like me deserves nothing less. ::evil grin:: i'm surrounded by beautiful people, and it's getting a little damned intimidating. all these beautiful boys and i don't know how to convince a damn one of them that they are...and i don't know why any damn one of them waste their time on me. and you know what sucks the most? one of them is so beautiful and intelligent and talented, but because he's not some scrawny bitch girls won't touch him with a ten-foot pole. one of them is so beautiful, intelligent and talented, but is hindered by shyness that he is his own worst enemy. the other one is so beautiful, intelligent and talented that it makes me sad because i deserve to be with him, and yet i not only feel like i'm not enough, but he's also got a maturity problem. i'm just too emotional about all of this. i've been really emotional lately anyway. i think it'a all due to this crazy biopsy. ~miss mari	Last Next Older Rings Profile Calendar Email me The Land of Diaries

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